Now love is the act of an appetitive power. We must therefore say that even in this life it tends first of all to God, and is thence turned towards other things. Hence charity loves God immediately, and loves other things through God as medium.
*St. Thomas Aquinas (c. 1225-1274), Summa Theologica.
At Naples, near the end of his earthly life, St. Thomas Aquinas worshipped before the crucifix. He usually went there before Matins to pray alone before the cross. A Brother Dominic witnessed St. Thomas hearing a voice from the cross: "Thomas, you have written well of Me; what reward do you ask of your labor?" St. Thomas replied: "None other, Lord, but Thyself."
This very "Lord" that spoke to St. Thomas was a mystery to him early in life. He was fascinated with the thought of "God" and spent his life writing theology.
At age five his parents sent the little boy to be educated by the Benedictines at Mt. Cassino. They hoped he would one day become abbot. One of his questions at this stage of life was, "What is God?"
I have found this struggle between "knowing" and "not-knowing" to be central to my spiritual unfolding and ministry, so much so as to be essential to my Calling, defining of my person and work. I find in myself this ardent devotion for the Divine Presence as a personal Being, knowing me better than I know myself and holding all by being in Being. I find this Being giving ItSelf to my self, even while I am baffled by what This is. God, to me, remains a certainty and question.
This Presence eludes me, even while touching me thoroughly. God is as far from me as near to me. This realization, at times, frustrates me. Sometimes, it brings great joy.
Ironically, as a young man in his twenties and studying under the eminent St. Albert the Great, classmates gave St. Thomas a name that was to stay with him throughout his life: the Dumb Ox. Possibly, Ox alludes to his large frame. Dumb refers to his quietness. He was so quiet and noncommittal that a student offered to tutor him. When the student faltered in offering an explanation on a subject, however, St. Thomas explained in such a way the student asked him to tutor him.
St. Thomas admitted there are some things we can know of God and some not know. He integrated the two great historical streams of theological thinking: apophatic, "darksome," what we can not know, and "kataphatic," "lightsome," what we can know.
The human understanding cannot go so far of its natural power as to grasp His substance [God as God is in Godself], since under the conditions of the present life the knowledge of our understanding commences with sense; and therefore objects beyond sense cannot be grasped by human understanding except so far as knowledge is gathered of them through the senses. But things of sense cannot lead our understanding to read in them the essence of the Divine Substance, inasmuch as they are effects inadequate to the power that caused them. Nevertheless our understanding is thereby led to some knowledge of God, namely, of His existence and of other attributes that must necessarily be attributed to the First Cause. There are, therefore, some points of intelligibility in God, accessible to human reason, and other points that altogether transcend the power of human reason.
*Of God and His Creatures.
At the heart of Christian devotion is holding of these apparent opposites in a Unity. Devotion entails relating to the Divine in ways that make that Presence accessible, while, likewise, leading us to the door of the inaccessibility of God-As-God-Is beyond all our understandings. The same act of devotion both creates an act of knowing and unknowing. Yet, these are not truly opposite, as often assumed to be. Rather, in God, The Perfection, all apparent opposites are in Perfection.
Humbly, we know this God-As-God-Is, for we know the All of God now more wholly, knowing with mind what we know and in spirit what we do not know. Therefore, our knowing has expanded and, thereby, the knowing is a knowing different than the sensory, yet, this knowing is still a knowing. For knowing beyond the sensory is defined from beyond the sensory, for human words mean only what they mean in the context of their meaning. Hence, to say, "I do not know," is to say, "I now know with a knowing more full and sublime." Or, "I knew, now I know."
Lastly, in St. Thomas we see a man of immense intelligence and ardent spiritual love. As the opening story shares, St. Thomas found in the God he could not grasp, a Love claiming his heart and effort, fully. We, too, are called to be able to say to this Love, "Above all, I want You."
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Do you love God above all else? Share your response.
Who has shown to you most a heart full of Love for God?
Have you ever been overwhelmed with the unknowable of God? What did you feel? How did you respond?
When was the last time you sensed God so close to you as to be appear to be fully known? Share your response.
How does the "knowing" of God and the "unknowing" of God shape your life? Explain.
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*Story of St. Thomas before the crucifix from Fr. Christopher Rengers. The 33 Doctors of the Church. Quote from St. Thomas at Christian Classics Ethereal Library; for details on publishing ... see www.ccel.org .
*Charitable contributions would be appreciated to assist Brian in the continuance of his work of ministry. For contributions, contact Brian at barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
*Brian's book of spiritual love poetry, An Ache for Union: Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major booksellers, or through the Cokesbury on-line store, at www.cokesbury.com .
*Brian K. Wilcox lives in Punta Gorda, FL, and Clearwater, FL, with his wife, step-son, and two beloved dogs. Brian has an independent writing, workshop, and retreat ministry focused on Christians living as spiritual disciples of Jesus Christ in everyday life. He serves the Christ Community United Methodist Church, Punta Gorda, FL. Brian is vowed at Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a vowed, contemplative life and inspires others to experience a more intimate relationship with God-in-Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused, experiential Christianity and renewal of the focus of the Church on addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons.
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